Adventures in, um, bathrooming
I get pretty stoked when I have to go to the bathroom here at work, because it gives me the chance to do* something I need to do* and I don't have to do* it in my precious off-time. I bring my gameboy into the bathroom and I have a grand old time, battlin', catchin', levelin' up, the whole nine poke'-yards. Today, however, there were quite a few events which were off-putting.
First: I grabbed one of the seat-covers from the dispenser and at the same time I heard womens' voices outside the door and horror-of-horrors the door opened as a man entered giving the ladies the opportunity to see me dispensing myself a sanitary cushion. How awkward is that? Ladies get their rare peek at the inner-workings of the men's room and they see that tall guy from the second floor getting ready to shed some excess weight (I 'do my duty'* on different floors to avoid the awkwardness of immediate co-workers). Sure everyone may do it, but knowing who's doing it and when is eerie.
Second: I rushed off to the stall and sitting, playing GB, I hear the man who put me on display grab his own seat cover and settle in. Then he starts making those horrible coffee/beer splatter sounds and I'm sitting there trying to be silent, trying keep from laughing or wretching, when...
Third: My superior solid waste makes its own noise as it hits the basin splashing my person with the dirty dirty water I was dirtying. After a lot of cleanup and self-therapy, I decided to write about it as a form of self-therapy. Splatter McGee didn't leave for a while, so I eventually saved my game, washed my hands, and fled the scene.
Fourth: While this particular thing didn't technically happen today, how many people don't wash their hands after peeing? I see plenty. At my old job a superior of mine never did and I always vowed to remember so I could be grossed out when I was working with him, but luckily I would forget. Magic Tournaments have plenty of people at them who don't do it, and you're supposed to shake their hands when you play a game against them. Yuck.
(*) I'll leave off the humorous second 'o' since the level of the discourse is low enough as it is. I've also neglected to use any swears such as adding an 'h' to uses of "sitting". This one's for you, Mom.
